A new path

There are only a handful of times I can remember specifically asking the universe (higher power, God, Source…you can fill in the blank with whatever you need to in order to understand the concept) for help and being given an undeniable answer.

One occasion was the night before I got clean. After 15 years of denial, I sat desperate in the Kroger parking lot in Oxford, Mississippi and humbly cried for help. Two days later I was in treatment. That was over 6 years ago.

Another time was 5 weeks ago.

In the midst of 2020 and all its insanity, I knew that something in my life needed to change, and like I had done before, I asked for help.

The very next day, what began as a casual conversation finished with a job opportunity.

Today I started my new job as a Clinical Outreach Coordinator for Breathe Life Healing Centers in Los Angeles. Helping those suffering from trauma, eating disorders, substance abuse and mental health disorders particularly within the LGBTQ community.

Since I got clean I have wanted to help others, and when my path seemed to be taking me away from the opportunity to do so, my happiness waned. Today I can look back over the past year, the past 6 even, and see the fabulous game of spiritual chess that was being played on my behalf. Don’t you love those moments when it all comes together and seems so clear?

Heading into 2021, I no longer feel pressured (by myself or others) to compartmentalize the varied areas of my life. I don’t see a difference between the work I will be doing at Breathe and my work as a film director, actor, festival programmer, essayist or person in recovery.

In all of these areas I see myself as a creator. A champion of recovery. And someone who will share a message of hope with experience, humor and art.

As I begin to explore this new path, I pray for the embrace of the principles that have been my touchstones in recovery. I pray, and I take a step.