Discovering Wrath Mercy

Wrath|Mercy is the story of Adam, a young drug addict searching desperately for a way out. Tripped to brink of death, Adam encounters a mysterious woman who will assist him in deciding his own fate.

One night while a BFA student at the University of Southern Mississippi (USM), I found myself in the audience watching Wrath Mercy written by Benjamin Craven, also a USM student. His play floored me. Not only did it introduce me to my first University crush (Hey, Scott!!), it implanted a seed that took two decades to gestate into my own version of the story. Now, all these years later, I am taking a major step in making a dream become a reality.

I don’t remember what made me think of adapting Ben’s play for the first time, but in 2010, I reached out to him through Facebook to see if he could send me a copy. It took a few months, but he eventually found it in a box in his basement.

2010 was a special year for me in regard to film. My Oscars website, Awards Wiz had taken off, I was also writing for Awards Daily and had, to date, my favorite film festival experience at the Hamptons Film Festival, where I saw 127 Hours, Blue Valentine, The Girl Who Kicked the Hornets’ Nest, The Kings Speech, Up in the Air, and Black Swan all for the first time in a matter of days. Great films and what could be done through the medium of cinema was heavily on my mind. Perhaps this is what made me think to reach out to Ben.

In the following decade, I thought of Wrath Mercy often. After a promising few years, I was yet again struggling to find my way as an actor in NYC (mostly because I was too busy doing drugs) having close call after close call. And I kept thinking - how great it would be to make Wrath Mercy as a film and make myself the star! I had always imagined myself in the lead and over many a drunken night promised the role of the lead woman to a variety of women, sometimes complete strangers. If you are reading this, and you are one of those women, I greatly apologize.

In 2014 my life changed when I stopped using drugs, and Wrath Mercy was still there calling to me. I could now see with clear eyes that it was vital that I not only write this film but also direct it. Making this film happen would be an amends to Ben (who I had told many times - THIS IS IT, I’M MAKING IT when I clearly wasn’t), the many people I promised parts to and most importantly to myself. Post 2014, I tried to adapt it many, many times—copying the entire play into word and fighting to make the transition from theatre to film.

Then, in early 2017, I heard an interview with Barry Jenkins who was Oscar campaigning for Moonlight. In this interview, Barry said that when adapting Moonlight he realized that to make it work all he had to do was tell his version of someone else’s story. This was the revelation I needed.

I couldn’t simply adapt Ben’s play. I had to write my version of his story.

It still took me several months to do it, but one day I decided to make it happen. I was at a work conference, at my vendor booth, and no one was at the event. With nothing to work on, I pulled out my computer, read through Ben’s play one last time and truly put it away. It was time to write my version. It took 10 minutes.

After getting that first draft completed, I have worked on it in spurts over the past couple of years and finally landed on a draft I felt comfortable sending out to some trusted friends. I got some very great critical feedback and even more importantly—wonderful support.

I moved back to Southern California almost a year ago with every intention of making this film. I thought —I’ll go to film festivals, I’ll network at Film Independent events, take some acting/directing classes and find myself a producer, a director of photography, some actors…I would create my tribe and make this picture. Then, COVID happened.

I’m ready to take the next step in the process, but determining what that will be might be a bit challenging. So, for now, I give you this post. I hope you will take this journey with me. A journey of redemption. Not only for Adam, but for me.