I'm a film director
Growing up, movies had a major impact on me. My Mom used to tell a story of watching “Jaws” at the Skylark Drive In in Corinth, Mississippi while pregnant with me. I kicked the whole time.
I actually remember my first post birth screening, “Raiders of the Lost Ark.” I can still recall watching that boulder come crashing toward Indiana Jones on that giant outdoor screen as an usher brought popcorn to the car. Magical!
And of course, there was the “Empire Strikes Back,” which truly cemented my love for cinema. “Moonstruck” which lead me to the Oscars. Even “Buffy the Vampire Slayer” (the movie) which I watched over and over on VHS trying to manage a Valley girl accent to get rid of my southern one.
But it was an afternoon in Oxford, Mississippi at the long gone Hoka Theatre at 18 years of age when I knew I wanted to be a film director. Watching Quentin Tarantino’s “Pulp Fiction” changed my life in a mere couple of hours. I didn’t know what it meant to be a director…I’m still figuring that out…but I knew that what I was seeing on screen was new and that someone was at the helm of that creativity.
I had actually directed my first play at 16. “Trick or Treat” based on Ritchie Tankersley Cusick’s fantastic YA book, but film was another beast. I continued to direct plays in college. One of which was in 1999, my last semester…an unofficial replacement for our Mainstage production when the new theatre wasn’t finished in time. “Last Reprisal.” It was a story of women living with their husbands (off stage) at war. I loved it.
That following summer I directed professionally for the first time. Two children’s plays for Mac-Hadyn Theatre. Cinderella and something else…I honestly can’t remember.
And then. Nothing. I acted professionally and didn’t…I waited tables…and I used drugs. For years.
Somewhere in that messy timeline, I remembered my friend Ben Craven’s play, “Wrath/Mercy” and thought it would make a great film. I promised Ben I would adapt it. I promised the two leads to countless people while drunk…but I never got it done. I just couldn’t write it…
In 2015 or 2016, after having left NYC and a brief stint in LA…and moved back to Mississippi, I had lunch with my friend Melanie Addington, the Exec Director of Oxford Film Festival and told her about my desire to direct film and my passion project. She told me to get it done. She even gave me a deadline. I ignored it.
I attended Oxford Film Festival as a programmer and I occasionally told filmmakers there about my project. There is nothing as disheartening as telling the same exact dream two fests in a row about a project that has been gestating for over a decade.
Then, at a brunch screening of a film I acted in one morning in early 2019, Melanie approached me about “The Golden Years.”
“I need a director,” Melanie said.
“I’m not ready,” I said…
And then…who knows…I can’t remember what she said next…and I guess it wouldn’t have mattered…because I knew. I had a great pounding in my chest…that told me I had to say yes.
I didn’t get to pick the script or the actors…but I had an automatic producer in Melanie which gave me great ease. I’m a total control freak, so not getting to choose everyone/everything wasn’t an ideal thing in the moment…but in reality it was exactly what I needed. Joe Starzyk’s script is so funny (I found myself still laughing…even the last time I watched it) and had won a prize at the festival the previous year…and actors Johnny McPhail and Susan McPhail are professional actors who kindly put their performances in my hands…a first time film director. That probably wasn’t easy for them to do having worked with Hollywood filmmakers. And I did get to choose my incredible DP, Antonio Tarrell.
In June of 2019, over 2 and 1/2 days, we shot our film.
I have watched “The Golden Years” dozens if not a hundred times. I worked very closely with Antonio who also stepped up to finish editing… to get the best shots, the right timing. Once I had moved to California we got creative. I remember watching one edit on my phone in an “Original Tommy’s” drive through. Another time watching at home…past the deadline (sorry Melanie!!) texting Antonio and making notes in dropbox…viewing one version on my computer…another cast onto my Apple TV…deducing, deducing…ever deducing over minuscule moments.
Can we fix the color here??
Yes.
Can we fix the color there?
No.
And with that comes acceptance. As a recovering perfectionist, letting go and giving you this film is one of the hardest things I have ever had to do.
Some times I watched the edit and thought it’s simply incredible we got this wonderful film considering many of the challenges…impending rain, extreme heat, losing our boom sound on day 1 - the most important day of shooting. Opting against pick ups mere days before I moved to California. That’s the hardest part when I watch mere seconds of the film I know could have been better….
With a little ADR and some incredibly creative editing on DP Antonio Tarrell’s part, you almost wouldn’t be able to tell. I can. Some of you will too…but what matters is we did it.
And now, our final challenge. Losing our premiere.
Thanks to Melanie and technology, we are all going to have the opportunity to watch together around the world. It’s a real gift.
OH…and thanks to Melanie, Johnny and Susan, Antonio and The Golden Years, I finally finished that new screenplay. I knew I could do it. Because I did. I’m a film director.
SO…go to the Oxford Film Festival FB page at 4pm PST/ 6pm CST to watch and experience a live chat.
FB Event - The Golden Years World Premiere
Or you can watch here on the OXFF You Tube page.