Binging and re-binging - Heartstopper, The X-Files and beyond….
As I find myself re-binging “Heartstopper” the incredible queer romance on Netflix, I wondered why we re-binge certain content over and over….
The first films I can remember binging were “Funny Girl” and “Halloween,” taped onto VHS tapes off of television. I know, you may be thinking - what a strange combination of films. But if you know me, it makes perfect sense. Needless to say I was quite surprised when I finally got my hands on the original R rated “Halloween” many years later.
As I find myself re-binging “Heartstopper” the incredible queer romance on Netflix, I wondered why we re-binge certain content over and over….
The X-Files
In terms of television, the first show I rebinged was “The X-Files.” This may be hard for some of you to imagine, but there was a time when it wasn’t quite as easy to see every episode of all seasons of television.
I finally gave in to watching “The X-Files” after its Golden Globe wins for Best Drama and for Gillian and David. “Grotesque” (one of my least favorite episodes now) was my first viewing, near the beginning of its third season. I was immediately hooked.
At that point Fox had released about 6 episodes on VHS tape, which I promptly bought. I can also remember when the next batch of episodes was released, I showed up to Wal-Mart at midnight and took the VHS tapes out of their freight boxes and purchased them straight away because I simply couldn’t wait until morning when they would be on display for everyone.
I even went so far as to find someone on the internet who was willing to copy their copies from television of the first 2 season, which I watched over and over and over. Binging with almost no sleep and immediately rebinging!
I have continued to love “The X-Files” over the years, even crediting it with changing my major to Acting. Something I’ve considered over the years is why?
One of the things that kept me from the show in the first place was its alien storyline - definitely not something I was interested in, despite my love of “Star Wars.” I also abhor conspiracy theories, back then and even more so today.
It must be the dynamic between Mulder and Scully. The opposites attract, almost forbidden love story, told through glances, brushes of touch and eventually more - that kept me coming back, even long after they became a couple, broke up and (hopefully…it seemed so, at least) reunited in the very underrated 11th season.
MOVIES
When I look at the movies that I’ve rebinged over the years, the most recent one was certainly “Call Me By Your Name” a film I wrote about at Awards Daily. When I was writing that piece after already binging the film many times, I had started to see the film in a different way, particularly after talking to producer Peter Spears and star Timothee Chalamet.
I started to understand this wasn’t the romantic love story it was being made out to be, even by me. Its’ a story of heartbreak, first love and crushed hearts. At least two heart for sure - Elio’s and mine.
I think I kept watching it over and over because a part of me wanted a happy ending that we simply weren’t going to get.
Another film I watched over and over is “Black Swan.” Yes, this is also a queer story, but it’s the idea of perfection and what it takes for an artist to succeed that I find most fascinating about this film. As artists we are told that we must make great sacrifices to achieve our dreams - and director Aronofsky and star Natalie Portman show us the depths of that sacrifice with an ending that still blows my mind to this day.
Heartstopper
Which leads us to “Heartstopper.” I have watched this show and incredible number of times. Perhaps 10 times all the way through. Yes…that’s a lot, I know. But it appears that I’m not alone in this. Queer people, young and seasoned are connecting to this show on a very deep level.
I’ve talked about over the years how certain shows I grew up with - “The Golden Girls,” “Sex and the City,” even “Scarecrow and Ms King” have queer sensibilities that scratch an itch. “Heartstopper” on the other hand is something completely different.
I can remember revisiting “Perks of Being a Wallflower” multiple times because it spoke to me on many levels -mental health, trauma…all the while giving us a fun and fabulous queer character (Ezra Miller) and even giving him an unrequited kiss with the lead (Logan Lerman). Despite being a wonderful book and film, it’s still scraps for queer people.
“Heartstopper” not only gives us a slew of LGBTQ characters with varying identities and sexualities, mental health disorders are front and center, even if the seeds are only being planted in this first season.
Much has already been said about how lucky teenagers are to have this show today and the joy tinged with melancholy of those of us who didn’t have shows like this, and I concur with pretty much everything that has been said already. And maybe I keep going back to the beginning because I’m waiting for that small percent of melancholy to go away.
I didn’t want to give too much away in my original review, but I do want to say here that both Kit Connor and Joe Locke who play our Nick and Charlie are remarkable. Kit is so great at portraying the simplicity of the comics while also expressing the real, believable confusion about his sexuality.
And Joe…Joe Locke, who had no previous film/tv experience manages to show each and every queer person out there who has struggled with bullying and mental health issues (that’s all of us, right) - binging and rebinging this show, a version of themselves almost as if he is holding a mirror up to our healing inner child.
And together, with Darcy and Tara (Kizzy Edgell and Corinna Brown) and Elle and Tao (Yasmin Finney and William Gao) we see the most truthful depiction of young love that I have seen in a very long time. Perhaps since “Beautiful Thing” in 1996. I know things are hard for queer people today, even if they are better, but what I see on screen with “Heartstopper” is what I felt falling in love for the first time.
That’s what keeps me going back to “Heartstopper.” And until there is more queer content like “Heartstopper” I will more than likely return time and time again.
If you haven’t seen it, watch “Heartstopper” on Netflix.