The year I didn't watch the Oscars

The timing of today's announcement of the new "outstanding achievement in popular film" category at the Oscars alongside my return to this summer's Best Films Rewatch series with "Secrets & Lies" couldn't be better.

After watching and enjoying many films already this summer, alongside some disappointments, I was beyond thrilled to feel all sorts of Best Film feels for "Secrets & Lies." Don't get me wrong, I continue to love "The Godfather Part II" and "Dead Poets Society," but it wasn't until last night finishing up "Secrets & Lies" that I had an actual contender for my favorite film of all time.

If that is the case, then why did I not even watch the 1997 Oscars ceremony, the year "Secrets & Lies" was nominated for 5 Oscars including Best Picture? If a hardcore Oscar lover like myself could turn away from the Oscars, you better believe that millennials who don't even know what a Broadcasting Channel is are going to need more than a Popular film category to bring them to the show.

So, what kept me away and what brought me back? I have no idea. So, let's find out.

If you have been following along, you all know that the 1995 Oscars (we are going to refer to the year of the show for the sake of this piece) were a volatile one for me, and also a bit of a wake up call to the kid who had been in Oscars dreamland since becoming a fan in 1988.

When "Pulp Fiction" lost Best Picture, the illusion was gone. The best film of the year could lose Best Picture.

The following year, my favorite film, "Leaving Las Vegas" wasn't even nominated for Best Picture, which I remember breaking my heart. I loved the film so much I had 2 "Leaving Las Vegas" posters in my room...a decorating choice only repeated by "The X-Files" and "Black Swan." Sadly, both of the LLV posters are gone now.

I can remember sitting at an Oscars party with friends expecting "Apollo 13" to win, maybe "Braveheart" (it did) and not even knowing what to root for. I think I ended up going with "Sense and Sensibility."

In 1996 I went to college at the University of Southern Mississippi. I had 2 previous years at Community College, double majoring in Vocal and Piano Performance, but when it came time for USM...I finally surrendered to my dreams. Acting, it was.

I don't remember much about the early part of 1996 in terms of movies. That summer gave us "Independence Day" and "Twister" as well as "Hunchback of Notre Dame." I wonder if the Most Popular Film Oscar had been in effect in 1997 if any of these might have won. Probably not "Hunchback." Although I loved it, there was a general disappointment in the air about it. Perhaps the later release, "Scream" might have won. Now, that is something I actually could have gotten behind. A film I loved that had no chance of winning an Oscar otherwise.

There were a few films that came out in 96 that I really loved. "Evita," "The People v/s Larry Flynt" were among the ones that actually made it to Hattiesburg. For "Trainspotting" I had to drive to New Orleans...which was no big deal since it was happening once a week anyway, but the film I most wanted to see, "Secrets & Lies" was playing nowhere. After winning the Palme d'Or (a feat also won by my darling "Pulp Fiction") it became tops on my list.

Oddly enough I ended up seeing it in Vancouver, BC, Canada. I went with me dearest friend Brandon and his sister Stephanie. They went to ski. I went to find David Duchovny. That didn't happen although I do have proof in pictures that we stalked an X Files cargo van for a few minutes. A few days into the trip I can remember my glee at discovering "Secrets & Lies" was playing, so Brandon and I went to see it.

The film floored me then, and it floored me again last night. Back in 1996, the film went straight to the top as my favorite film, displacing "The Empire Strikes Back," "Funny Girl" and "The Godfather Part II." And it stayed there until 2001 when two films alternated in that top spot along with "Secrets & Lies" depending on the mood I was in.

Every interaction, every character in "Secrets & Lies" is handled with such care. Nothing is casual in "Secrets & Lies" although everything is natural. The acting, particularly Brenda Blethyn and Marianne Jean-Baptiste, is beyond top notch. When Leigh lets the camera sit and observe in the diner as Cynthia and Hortense have their first real conversation after discovering the truth about their relationship, the film becomes an acting/directing/writing masterclass.

Mike Leigh's brilliant screenplay, as most people know, was discovered through improvisation in rehearsal. Perhaps that's why the finished product is so perfect. OK, almost perfect. I still find the photo shoot scene with the woman who has been disfigured in a car accident followed by the oddly comic entrance of the former photography business owner a bit out of place in its forceful tone. I decided to read Ebert's 4 star review of the film and he says of these exact scenes:

An unusual amount of screen time is devoted to the photographs Maurice takes in his portrait studio. They're interesting in themselves; a woman whose face was scarred in a traffic crash says she wants to look "as bad as possible" for insurance purposes. Then there is an odd visit from a down-and-out drunk who sold Maurice the business. Why do these scenes exist? They lay the foundations for Maurice's outburst near the end, beginning with "I've spent my life trying to make people happy."

Ebert is right about that ending. Leigh and co take things into the stratosphere in a very uncomfortable and foreshadowed birthday party scene where we are treated to an outpouring of secrets & lies.

So, how did I go from discovering my favorite film of all time, something that would normally further propel my Oscar obsession to not even watching the ceremony?

I think it actually started on Oscar nomination morning. In addition to "Secrets & Lies" getting nominated for Best Picture, I was hoping for an "Evita" nomination as well as a Best Actress nom for Courtney Love for "The People vs Larry Flynt." OK...I'll be completely transparent here. I wanted a nomination for Madonna as well.

When neither Madonna (looking back, she probably didn't deserve it) nor Courtney Love were nominated for Best Actress...I was crushed. What's really interesting is that I knew "Secrets & Lies" would get in. Back when there were 5 nominees for Best Picture, an indie film almost always got in. With it's Palme win along with great reviews...I never really had a doubt.

By the time "The English Patient" won Best Picture, I had not only become disillusioned with the Oscars, but they served little purpose in my life. My love for "Secrets & Lies," the Evita soundtrack and most importantly the art I was personally making was all that I needed.

I can't remember what I did on Oscar night in 1997, but I do remember having a friend record it on VHS. I don't even think I watched 5 minutes of it.

There were movies I loved over the next few years.

The following year I was disappointed again when "Boogie Nights" didn't get a Best Picture nomination, but I watched anyway, and was particularly sad when PTA lost Screenplay. Another film I loved, "Chuck and Buck" was completely ignored.

1998 gave us "Titanic," which beat my preferred "LA Confidential."

1999 came close to bringing me back to the Oscars. If anyone could get me excited back in the day it was Weinstein (Ugh). I was glad that "Shakespeare in Love" beat "Saving Private Ryan," but I really wasn't that invested.

After graduating the summer of 1999 I left MS and immediately went on tour (after a quick summer stock gig) and ended up, 9 months later, displaced in Omaha, NE.

I was more interested in going to the local gay bars than watching movies. The only films I was rooting for that year were "Talented Mr. Ripley" and "Boys Don't Cry." Watching Hilary Swank win Best Actress was the only thing I really cared about that year.

As 2000 came to an end, the bar scene and Omaha itself had played out. I had no money and fading dreams of ever getting to the big city. And then I went to see "Billy Elliot." That story, and what got me back to the Oscars (and to NYC), next time.