I can't recall the first time I was introduced to "West Side Story." I can remember listening to the Soundtrack, seeing the movie multiple times, being awed by the fact that it had won 10 Oscars--disappointed that it hadn't, at least, tied "Ben-Hur" for the most wins-- and thrilled that it was and remains the only film with two directors sharing the Best Director Oscar for one film.

After revisiting "Funny Girl" a couple of weeks ago and realizing mid film that it would have no spot amongst my favorites, I began to wonder what other movie musical should be considered. Surely I had to have at least one musical in my Top 10! Musicals played such a part in my childhood, early adulthood and acting career, after all.

Then, I remembered "West Side Story."

How could I have forgotten?

I also remember being 17 years old, driving around in my black Grand Am, listening to the soundtrack, full volume, belting my face off, all the while dreaming of playing Tony.

4 years later, in 1997 that dream came true. For the first time.

I was a theatre student at The University of Southern MS and had just come back to school from my first professional acting gig at The Mac-Haydn Theatre in Chatham, NY where I did 8 (I think) full scale musicals and 3 children's shows. I began that summer season playing Jeffrey in "Godspell" followed by Jean-Michel in "La Cage aux Folles." It was an incredible experience.

A late summer season at Mac-Haydn caused me to miss general auditions at USM. And of course we were doing a musical for the first time in ages. "The Threepenny Opera." I taped my audition before heading to Chatham that summer, and when I returned I discovered that I was cast in a very small, non singing role. I was pissed. But...the show must go on, and so did I.

Shortly after Threepenny closed I got news that the local community theatre was doing a concert version of "West Side Story." I jumped at the chance. I auditioned, and I got the part of Tony. A dream come true. A few weeks later, we got word that we couldn't do the show because somehow the powers that be discovered that we were doing it as a concert version and they wouldn't allow it.

My friend Kristin (Maria) and I refused to give up on our dream of playing these parts and had a pow wow with the director. We knew that we could do this. And we did...we put on the full production in a matter of weeks.

Doc, Bernardo, Consuelo (I think?), Maria (Natalie Wood wasn't the only white Maria!) and Tony

I will never forget singing "Something's Coming" and "Maria" for the first time in front of an audience. I knew I wanted to be an actor from an early age, but it was in this moment that I knew what I was born to do.

The director of "The Threepenny Opera" came to see the show, and when he came backstage he said to Kristin (who hadn't been cast in Threepenny) and me "you're the real deal." I smiled and said, "DUH!"

Just kidding.

In 1999 I went back to Mac Haydn and played the part of Tony again. The week before I traveled back to upstate NY, I also got word that I had been cast as a replacement for a tour of "Romeo and Juliet" playing Romeo. What a dream. I would be inhabiting this character for 5 weeks at Mac-Haydn (2 weeks of rehearsal and 3 in performance) and 9 months (playing Romeo) on the road.

Playing Tony again was incredible. I had grown as an actor and a singer and got my first dose of what it was like to have an "All About Eve" moment. At one point my voice had begun to give out during the 21 show run and my understudy circled me like a vulture. I went to my dear friend Karla's house and got some local loving care from her family and returned two days later, hit those high notes and died like a champ.

Playing Romeo was a completely different experience. It became quite clear from the start that I was no one's first choice, especially the director. The casting folks asked me to watch Leonardo DiCaprio's performance in the recent R&J film, with the volume turned down. Apparently his iambic pentameter left something to be desired although his emoting was on point. (I refused.)

Forever Plaid, The Ice Wolf, and Romeo and Juliet....

The director was more concerned with my posture than characterization, the other men in the cast (save one) hated me, and the only time I felt truly present in the role was the day after I found out my summer boyfriend from Mac-Haydn was breaking up with me. I stayed out all night drinking Jameson, woke up too late to shower, and cried so hard in the scene where I was told that Juliet had died that I lost my contacts on stage. The producers were in attendance that day, and they thought I was brilliant.

Sigh.

At least I gained one of my best friends of all time during that experience. (Love you Colleen!)

Many things came out of my revisit of "West Side Story" yesterday, in addition to these memories of playing Tony/Romeo.

The film itself is indeed a masterpiece. It feels both theatrical and cinematic at the same time. It is unbelievably true to the stage piece while at the same time not seeming like a filmed play. A rare achievement for a movie musical.

The iconic opening visuals of a color changing shell of an outlined lower Manhattan still give me chills.

When I was younger, I think I just wanted to get to the musical numbers, so I didn't even remember the overhead shots, moving from lower Manhattan to the Lincoln Square area of the upper west side. It shows us that this is one big city, but the action of this film takes place in one small, very highly charged pocket of it. It's filmmaking way ahead of it's time.

The opening dance number is spectacular. The choreography by Jerome Robbins is obviously incredible, but the work of cinematography Daniel L. Fapp (who deservedly won an Oscar for this) adds another layer to the dance. And although co-directors Robert Wise and Jerome Robbins apparently didn't get along, even neglecting to thank each other when they shared the Oscar, the pairing worked!

I didn't know until recently that both Elvis and Warren Beatty were up for the part of Tony, but it ended up going to Richard Beymer (who later played Ben Horne in "Twin Peaks"). His early moments with Maria are so charming, particularly in "One Hand, One Heart." His almost dreamlike state in both "Maria" and "Tonight" make sense to me today, but I remember wondering in those early viewings how this guy could have ever been part of a gang. But this go around it made a bit more sense to me.

Before the rumble begins, Riff (the great Russ Tamblyn) and Bernardo (an also great George Chakiris, who won an Oscar for the part) have a moment between each other that makes it clear that this rift has never gone to this level of violence before. Tony got out before things turned this direction. But when Bernardo kills Riff, Tony almost instinctively drives the blade, handed off to him by Riff as he dies, into Bernardo, killing him instantly and unleashing a rage in both the Sharks and the Jets that can't be quelled by trying to keep it "Cool."

As enjoyable the film is prior to the rumble, it becomes masterful after the deaths. When Chino (played by Jose De Vega) screams "he killed your brother" to Maria, it is devastating. Natalie Wood, even having been dubbed in musical numbers by the great Marni Nixon, gives a performance of a lifetime here--which makes me really want to see "Splendor in the Grass," the film Wood was nominated for instead of West Side the very same year and "Two Women," the film Sophia Loren won Best Actress for over Wood!

Rita Moreno, who also won an Oscar as Anita is so remarkable in "A Boy Like That," singing to Maria - "a boy who kills has not heart..." after her lover Bernardo has just killed Riff. Is she singing about Maria and Tony or about herself? It is powerful and multilayered in a way that I never understood as a kid.

Then, Anita goes to Doc's to try to help Tony, only to be met by the Jets who assault her in one of the most incredible scenes in the film...a dance that plays as a metaphor for rape...the viewers hearts drop when Anita announces, in a lie, that Maria has been shot by Chino.

Just when you think all is doomed (have I mentioned how many times I played the part, knowing exactly how it ends?!), with Tony yelling in the streets for Chino to take away the pain of losing his love, he sees that Maria is indeed alive. As they race the clock of fate, to reunite in an embrace, Chino sees Tony and shoots him.

In what (I believe) is the only time we hear Wood's actual singing voice, she sings a refrain of "Somewhere" holding her dying love.

I died as that character many, many times in the 9 months I played Romeo and the 25 times I played Tony. Watching it on screen after that experience many years ago...it's somehow even more heartbreaking.

Remembering West Side Story - a personal history