Conversion

A story by survivors, CONVERSION takes us on a personal and cinematic journey as a filmmaker, an ex-Mormon mom, and a famous drag queen unite to overcome the mental and physical impacts of enduring conversion “therapy.” When filmmaker Zach Meiners discovered that his former conversion “therapist” was still active, he began an endeavor to amplify and empower the voices of survivors, and expose the secretive and often deadly industry.

“Conversion” is indeed a story of survival, told first hand by director Zach Meiners as an exploration of his own attempted conversion at an ex-gay ministry. The film is anchored by other survivors’ stories along with interviews by experts, doctors, and a complicated conversation with the founder of one of the most prominent offenders of these so-called conversions.

Conversion therapy is still happening - TODAY, damaging and destroying lives. This is made immediately clear when Meiners tells us that he started making the documentary in 2018 when his Mom reached out to ask about his conversion experience after being approached by a family friend who was exploring their son going to the same ex-gay ministry that Meiners himself was exposed to 10 years prior.

We also learn in the film that conversion therapy had is birth in the psychoanalyst community. Thanks to a protest within the mental health community by professionals who were also gay, homosexuality as a disorder was removed from the DSM-5 (the standard handbook for diagnosing and treating mental health disorders) in 1973. That very same year, to no surprise looking back, the first of the modern day ex-gay ministries was formed. These ministries, and the people running them, feeding on fear and contradiction, branded themselves as experts, using religion and nuggets of truth to build the very damaging industry at the center of the film.

Told through survivor experiences, other interviews, disturbing images, actual conversion therapy materials and ex-gay ministry footage, the film expresses quite clearly that the people attempting these “therapies” - whether armchair experts or actual, licensed clinicians are predators. In many cases, the subjects experienced childhood abuse and trauma, and the conversion therapists, many of whom were sought after by these very vulnerable people seeking an understanding of their sexuality, are oftentimes continuing the abuse in the guise of one on one therapy. In one very telling and painful scene, Meiners recalls his therapist asking very inappropriate questions about the type of man he was attracted to, asking him to describe these desires in detail. When Meiners attempted to tell someone at the ministry about this, he was ignored.

Meiners reaches out to several people involved in the Ex-Gay Ministries, requesting interviews, including his his prior therapist (he declined). He manages to arrange a sit down with McKrae Game, a very open apologist who helped found the Hope for Wholeness Network, who is now openly gay and opposed to the practice. This segment of the film is difficult to watch, and yet it shows us the complexity of these Ex-Gay Ministries and the effect they have on everyone involved.

In one of the most heartbreaking and telling moments of the film, Game professes that “no one killed theirselves because of me in the organization that I have ever heard of. We always dealt with suicide very seriously.” As Game continues to deflect blame in the interview, Meiners shows us otherwise with damming receipts involving the suicide of one of Hope for Wholeness’s participants, Cody Roemhild. Game speaks over a montage of footage, including a death scene report, photos of Game and Roemhild embracing at the ministry, and an article Game wrote about Roemhild for the Hope for Wholeness Network after Roemhild’s death, which was indeed ruled a suicide. Perhaps Game is in denial. Or perhaps this is a reminder that his self described “self-delusion” has quite a ways to go before an actual amends to the people he harmed can occur.

The most important message of the film, is that Conversion therapy, although banned in many states, has absolutely not gone away. One closes and another opens, often with the same people involved. They’ve simply gotten better at going under the radar, hiding in plain site. “Therapists” and ministries are still offering conversion therapy, but one has to read between the lines. Saying on your website that you treat LGBTQ issues can mean so many things, and it is absolutely not the same thing as being LGBTQ affirming. The use of phrases like “same sex attraction” in regard to treatment, particularly within the sex addiction therapy field is a giant red flag, and one that is very legal.

A question I was certainly left with watching the film is why the people who run these ministries are doing so in the first place. With Game, it’s clear he was also abused, by Exodus (another ex-gay ministry), after reaching out to them for help after seeing a billboard for their program while questioning his own sexuality. One thing that seems quite clear is that the people running these ministries aren’t exactly looking to save souls.

There is much more work to do, and “Conversion” shows us that, while also leaving us with a message of hope. We see our survivors, including Meiners, still coming to terms with the damage that was caused to them. In some cases there is a bit of repair with the very families who encouraged this damaging practice, but maybe most importantly we see that there is a family of choice out there for so many of us who were harmed by those who thought they were showing us love. A very confusing message that this film helps to decipher in many ways.

CONVERSION will be available to rent or buy on all major digital and cable VOD platforms on July 2nd

Official Website: www.conversionmovie.com